Tell me what's going on, he said. What's got you stressed out?
Well, doc, sit back and I'll tell you about my day yesterday...
Let me give you some background. I live with 3 boys. No offense, doc, but that should explain quite a bit right there. One boy I will call "Lazy". One boy I will call "Narcissist". The third I will just call "Mate".
Okay, so back to a walk through my day. The alarm clock went off at 6 am. I don't need to leave for work until 7:30, but that first hour of the morning is the most peaceful hour of my life, so I don't squander it.
6:00am I make my coffee and sip it in silence, the only sound is my keyboard as I peruse a little Facebook in solitude.
6:35am Lazy flies through the house. Can you give me a ride? I'm running late and I need to get to school.
6:42am I quickly get dressed. I can't find my shoes. Where the hell are my shoes?
6:43am Mate announces, from the bed where he is now wrapped up in ALL of the blankets, that Narcissist is sick (uh-huh), so he is going to stay home with him. He thinks he might be coming down with something too.
6:48am Lazy announces that he has no clean clothes. Did you bring your dirty laundry downstairs? YES, I DID! When? I didn't see it down there? AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT. WHATAMIGOINGTODO??? Looks like you'll have to go grungy today, mate.
6:50am I still can't find my goddamned shoes.
7:00am Lazy, miraculously dressed in clean(ish) clothes would like to leave a little early so that we can stop at Dunkin Donuts on the way. Okay, after I find my freakin' shoes.
7:05am I found my shoes. Wayyyyy under the bed. There was only a little cat puke on them, no big deal.
7:45am Lazy dropped off, Mate and Narcissist still snuggled up in their respective cocoons, I am finally at work.
~Flash forward to 5:30pm~
5:30pm I have a raging headache, one of our teachers called out sick so I played substitute to a group of 10 toddlers. I officially hate the song "The Wheels On The Bus" and soybutter makes me puke in my mouth just a little bit.
5:50pm The friggin' bridge is up. The friggin' bridge is up. The friggin' bridge is up.
6:10pm Six cigarettes later, I am home. I haul my sorry ass up over the stairs.
6:12pm I quickly realize that no one has started dinner. Where the hell is everyone?
6:15pm Peel potatoes. Chop potatoes. Throw veggies and sausage in a dish. Where the hell is everyone? Oh, there's Lazy. No, I just got home, I haven't done laundry today. You know where the washer and dryer are.
6:20pm Narcissist and Mate have made a miraculous recovery. They've been out working on the truck all day. Oh.
6:30 pm Well, if we're going to use silverware to eat our dinner, I suppose I'd better clean some. Turn on Ipod (on dock) to make it just a little more bearable.
6:35pm Grooving to The Goo-Goo Dolls. Narcissist = think you could turn that down a little? I can't hear the TV (SpongeBob? Really? You are 17!). Sure, as soon as I unclog the drain from all the food y'all stored down there.
6:45pm Mate decides now would be a good time to take a shower. That's okay, the sausages need to be turned anyhow.
7:15pm Dishes done, timer goes off. Dinner cooked. Is THAT what we're having? I'll have a toaster waffle.
7:30pm I retire to my corner to blog, don't anybody bug me, you hear?!
Okay, says doc, here is your prescription.